Writing Assignment 5

If I were in flooded Brisbane with a 3000 word article due to the New York Times by tomorrow, I'd freak the hell out. I'd find it quite challenging to accomplish without Internet access, computer access, pen or paper. I'm going to assume we are in a boat with nuffin. Here's the plan.
I'd navigate that boat to the nearest aid station. I'd look for rescuers and try to find out where the nearest and most effective staging area was for relief. I'm sure there I could find a pen and a piece of paper. I'd seek out the Red Cross, Police Station, or Australian government hangout, and snoop for a pen and paper. Pen and paper in hand I’d handwrite my 3000 word article. I will do it with a deft hand and journalistic flair on par with Fox News. Bam. 3000 words and I don’t even care; I am a wordsmith. I’d then seek out any sort of management at said staging area. They are sure to soon return to a city with some amenities going on, or they will know someone who will. I would handwrite instructions detailing how to get my article to New York.

I admit that this part of my plan is …ill planned. What amenities will there be, in another town? I am going to ramble about some possibilities. I’d ask the official to get these papers to an affiliate in another town, and get them to fax it to New York. I’d also try to pay someone to transcribe it to email and then email it to New York. Maybe I’d try to hitch a ride so that I could make sure that the job gets done. If all seemed hopeless I’d go to plan B:



1) Flip the $%*& out.

2) Elbow the closest dude I find on a Jet Ski

3) Steal Jet Ski

4) Whip that thing around and around and then towards the nearest town with amenities

5) Get disguise

6) Fax/Email/Transcribe/Dictate Over Phone the article

7) Get arrested



The truth is that I have no idea how one could accomplish this. If one could, they should let their employer know how difficult the task was. I don’t think the Times expects much effort out of any of their writers, so they’d seem like a god for meeting the deadline. It seems impossible. This hypothetical exercise shows me how dependent we are on technology to deliver information.